The other day, I urged you to look back on 2008 and acknowledge the good things that happened in your life.  Today, I will share with you 5 of my highlights.

1.  Started my new business:  New Leaf Touchstone

2.  Celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary

3.  Reconnected with an old college friend who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years

4.  Met hundreds of amazing people in the course of living my life

5. Sponsored the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention “Out of the Darkness” Walk in Boston

Although some of these may not sound like big deals, they are but a few of the many things that made for a rich and happy 2008 for me.  When I stopped to think about it, choosing only 5 from the many wonderful things that happened for me this past year was hard.  And, yes, there were some bad times too, but I took the time and space to learn from them and move forward.  And, I will enter 2009 hoping for more great things, accepting that there are no peaks without the valleys, committing to learning from it all and sharing whatever and whenever I can, to help others be their best!

Here we are at the beginning of the final week of 2008.  It’s been a wild year.  Based on the last couple of months, it would be easy to say ‘Good Riddance’.  But, lest we lose sight of all of the good that has happened during the last 365 days, let’s stop and take stock.  I won’t bore you with all of the details of my year but I urge you to take some time to look back over the past 12 months and review what’s gone well for you;  what you’ve accomplished, the good fortune you have had, the people you’ve met, the things you’ve learned, the places you’ve seen, the relationships in your life.  So often, we ‘count’ only the BIG things in life as worthy and impressive.   But life is made up of the everyday little things, the little wins, the brief encounters,  the serendipitous happenings, the baby steps that move us toward our vision.  So, before you usher out 2008, spend some time acknowledging the great things that have happened, express your gratitude to others, share your good news.  Approaching your challenges coming from a place of abundance and gratitude is powerful, indeed!

HO! HO! HO!  I actually love the holidays.  But, getting beyond the layers and layers of stress can be something of an excavation project.  Once done, I can feel my heart swell with love and excitement and celebration!  I want quicker access to that.  Why do I feel stressed?    All of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and expectations set by Hallmark and the like!  Families hugging in front of the blazing fire, with soft white snow falling beyond the window, Christmas carols playing the background and the sweet smell of home baked cookies wafting through the air.  Christmas morning, Mom gets out of bed looking great, make-up in place, perfect nightwear on her perfect body.  The house looks like Martha Stewart stopped by for a quick consult!  Please!!!  It’s enough to make anyone feel inadequate!  So here’s how I get great joy during the holidays:

1. Enjoy the present moment.  Love what you you are doing RIGHT NOW, without regard to what else you have to do.  What you are doing at this very moment is the perfect thing!  My husband and I went on our annual Christmas shopping date.  He hates ot shop and I hate shopping with him.  But, we had a ball because we were together, without a timetable, looking for special gifts for the special people in our lives. 
2. Appreciate what you have.  There are so many others who have less.  Just 50 miles west of here, right now, folks are spending their 12th consecutive day without power due to storms.  And even they are fortunate compared to others who don’t even have homes to light and heat.
3. Listen to your favorite Christmas music as you wrap presents.  Sing along.  Who will know and if they do, who cares?  Do what you want! 
4. Create memorable moments and traditions.  When my kids were really little, I  created a treasure hunt for them to follow to find one of their presents on Christmas morning.  It’s become a tradition.  Now, at 12 and 15, they still ask if we’re going to have a treasure hunt.  It’s a joy to create and the whole family loves watching them run around to find the prize.
5. Pamper yourself.  Take a nap when you’re tired. Ask for help.  Do things together.  Cut out unnecessary, burdensome tasks.  They can wait. 
6. DO AT LEAST ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT CREATES JOY FOR YOU!

Congratulations to Ellen K. the winner of the first free bracelet drawing!  Ellen will receive the New Leaf Touchstone bracelet of her choice!  Hopefully, she will share stories of how she is using the bracelet and how things are going for her as she works toward her chosen change!   If you haven’t already entered, please do so to the right of this blog entry!  

And, speaking of winners, we all can be.  We just need to set up the game so we can win.  So often, we have a wish or a dream and we inadvertently set up road blocks and land mines to sabotage our success.   Then we’re surprised and disappointed that we didn’t get what we said we wanted.  The first step to setting yourself up for success is to clearly articulate what it is you want.  Words like ‘more’, ‘better’, ‘good’ aren’t specific and measurable enough.  Let’s say you want to have a better relationship with your spouse.  Sit for a moment and envision yourself in that better relationship.   What does it look like?  What specific aspects are better?  What are YOU doing?  How are YOU feeling?  Now, write down the the answers to those questions as if they are already happening.   For example, I discuss our finances openly and honestly,”  I initiate a date alone with my partner twice a month”,  etc.  Ok, here comes the hard part.  Can you hear all that chatter in the background?  All the stories that are coming up about why it isn’t possible, it won’t work out, he/she would never, but…but…but….  Ok, let ‘er rip.  Give that voice an audience.  Write down every one of those stories.  Go ahead.  Don’t hold back!  Include great detail.  Go to town.   When you are done, go back and read what you’ve written.  Read it over and over until you feel hopeless.  Why not,  that ‘s what you do to yourself all the time.  You give audience to all that chatter and it sabotages your efforts and makes you angrier and more stuck.  And, now, you are a bona fide victim!  But who are you angry with?  Is it your partner for how your relationship is going or youself for being helpless to make changes? 

Ok, ready??  If there is really value for you in making some changes, strap yourself in… you’re going to need to take some risks.  You want to be a winner you’ve got to play like one!  You can’t win if you aren’t even in the game.  So, create an argument, a counter statement to every one of the statements you wrote down earlier.  Identify the rules you are playing by and create new rules that help you win.  Answer the questions, “Who says?”, “How do I know?”  “So what?”  “Is this true or do I just think it is?”  “Who could shed some light on this for me?”  “What would I do if I were being true to myself?”

Now, start acting like the winner you are!  You can do it and you’ll be amazed at how just taking the first small step can crack things wide open!