Congratulations to Ellen K. the winner of the first free bracelet drawing!  Ellen will receive the New Leaf Touchstone bracelet of her choice!  Hopefully, she will share stories of how she is using the bracelet and how things are going for her as she works toward her chosen change!   If you haven’t already entered, please do so to the right of this blog entry!  

And, speaking of winners, we all can be.  We just need to set up the game so we can win.  So often, we have a wish or a dream and we inadvertently set up road blocks and land mines to sabotage our success.   Then we’re surprised and disappointed that we didn’t get what we said we wanted.  The first step to setting yourself up for success is to clearly articulate what it is you want.  Words like ‘more’, ‘better’, ‘good’ aren’t specific and measurable enough.  Let’s say you want to have a better relationship with your spouse.  Sit for a moment and envision yourself in that better relationship.   What does it look like?  What specific aspects are better?  What are YOU doing?  How are YOU feeling?  Now, write down the the answers to those questions as if they are already happening.   For example, I discuss our finances openly and honestly,”  I initiate a date alone with my partner twice a month”,  etc.  Ok, here comes the hard part.  Can you hear all that chatter in the background?  All the stories that are coming up about why it isn’t possible, it won’t work out, he/she would never, but…but…but….  Ok, let ‘er rip.  Give that voice an audience.  Write down every one of those stories.  Go ahead.  Don’t hold back!  Include great detail.  Go to town.   When you are done, go back and read what you’ve written.  Read it over and over until you feel hopeless.  Why not,  that ‘s what you do to yourself all the time.  You give audience to all that chatter and it sabotages your efforts and makes you angrier and more stuck.  And, now, you are a bona fide victim!  But who are you angry with?  Is it your partner for how your relationship is going or youself for being helpless to make changes? 

Ok, ready??  If there is really value for you in making some changes, strap yourself in… you’re going to need to take some risks.  You want to be a winner you’ve got to play like one!  You can’t win if you aren’t even in the game.  So, create an argument, a counter statement to every one of the statements you wrote down earlier.  Identify the rules you are playing by and create new rules that help you win.  Answer the questions, “Who says?”, “How do I know?”  “So what?”  “Is this true or do I just think it is?”  “Who could shed some light on this for me?”  “What would I do if I were being true to myself?”

Now, start acting like the winner you are!  You can do it and you’ll be amazed at how just taking the first small step can crack things wide open!