I feel truly blessed.  And that’s new for me.  I’ve spent most of my life craving more.  It often seemed to me that everyone else was better, smarter, more competent, more popular, worthier.  I always wished I had more friends, more money, better hair, thinner thighs, a better head for math.  You name it, I was on the short end of the stick.  And then, a few years ago, I made a small change.  I began to keep a gratitude journal. Every day (or almost everyday) I make a list of 3-5 things I am grateful for.  Sometimes I write the same 3 things I wrote the day before, other times, there are new and different things that are noteworthy.  When I first started out, doing it was hard.  I’d often forget to grab my journal.  Then, I started leaving it under my pillow.  If I put my head down without having written in it, I’d feel it and be reminded.  If I had the urge to skip it one night, thinking I was too tired and just wanted to go to sleep, I’d make myself do it anyway.  I realized that it didn’t take more than 5 minutes and it made me feel soooo good!  Then, it became a habit.  Now, I can’t go to sleep without making my entry.  If I did, it would feel like some part of my bed time ritual was missing.  I wouldn’t dream of going to bed without brushing my teeth.  How could I sleep without having acknowledged my gratitude?

Why is this important?  Why do I bother?  Because counting my blessings has made a big difference in my life.  It has created a BIG change for me.  My blessings now have a much louder voice than my fears and insecurities.  They are the white horse I ride in to new or challenging situations on.   Focusing on what is great in my life makes me show up calm, present and generous.  I’m more likeable!  I attract the kinds of friends and clients I want to have in my life.  I am whole.  I’m not so different than I was before, not more competent, more beautiful, or thinner.  Those pesky insecurities still show up from time to time.  But they are quieter now, and they mostly stay to themselves in the corner out of my way.   I know if I give them my attention, they will grow again and become unruly.  Although I’m really the same person I was before I started keeping my gratitude journal, I am indeed richer!  Richer in friends, in love, and yes, in money since I’ve attracted more clients.   It is true, ‘you get what you give’ and by giving the the best of me, I have attracted the right people into all aspects of my life.

You’ve heard it before, change your mind, change your life.  Sounds like a reach you say?  Ya but, I don’t have enough money, I’m overwhelmed, my health is bad, I’ve lost my house, I’ve lost my job, my sister got all the good genes, blah, blah, blah.  All of that may be true but it doesn’t have to wreck your life!  Really!  In spite of all of the things that are bad and wrong in the world and in your life, there must be some things, even little snippets that are positive and/or for which you are grateful.  Stop reading right now.  Look around you.  Notice one thing that you can feel good about.  How about the fact that you are alive and breathing.  That surely beats the alternative.  Is the sun setting?  How beautiful does it look?  Or, is it shining brightly through the window? Stand and enjoy it’s warmth.  Do you like the color of the paint on the wall? The pattern of the window treatments?  Are you full and satisfied because you enjoyed a good meal?  Go ahead, keep looking, feeling, noticing what’s good.  One thing at a time.  One moment at a time.  For this present moment is the one you are in and that’s all there is to focus on.  You can’t change the past and you can’t control the future.  But, by changing how your mind works and focusing on the positive, you become uplifted, your mood brightens, you begin to see possibility.  Out of that different place, you automatically take different actions, attract different people and create different results.  It comes down to habit:  do you habitually notice what’s wrong and what’s missing?  or do you focus on what’s good and right?  It takes practice to do the latter if your natural tendancy and old habit is to focus on the negative.  So, when you find yourself standing in the halls of negative judgment about things in your life, catch yourself and shift to noticing the positive.  It won’t make the negative go away, for surely there are those things, but it will take the power to bring you down out of them.  Focusing on the positive will empower you, give you energy and give you the freedom to make better choices.  It will put you in charge of your mood and your life rather than being at the mercy of it.

I just got this message from a client.

“I realize that when I commit to a goal that is really mine and I don’t worry about what other people think, or get bogged down in thinking it’s too hard, the ‘how’ just shows up.  It’s when I focus on ‘why not’ or ‘I can’t’ that I get overwhelmed and it becomes a struggle.   From now on, I’m going to follow my heart and trust myself and just keep moving toward that beautiful vision I’ve created and know that somehow, it will turn out.”

 Glad she shared it with me so I could share it with you! 

What would you do differently?

Today, we inaugurated a new president.   Barak Obama marks change and brings a message of hope and change.  With the theme of change so pervasive, I’ve been thinking about it in personal terms.  I’ve become aware of all of the ways I might want to change.  The phrase ‘ignorance is bliss’ has never been so true!  Yesterday, I started a list of all the things I’ve discovered I do without thinking.  Yes, my auto-pilot mechanism is alive and well.  The good news is, it allows me to walk and chew gum at the same time.  Imagine having to think consciously about every step you take.  Consider that some people with certain physical disabilities do.  So, I’m grateful for some of my habits.  And then there are the others…  like the one my son pointed out to me recently of repeating the last word in my sentence.  That to me, is unimaginable.  Unimaginable!  Oops, I did it again!  How annoying.  Or, one I mentioned in an earlier post, buckling my seat belt while I’m backing out of the garage or a parking space.  I’m working on that one.  My poor posture is a habit.  I slouch a lot.  When I’m standing at the sink doing the dishes or brushing my teeth, I find myself leaning against the edge of the counter instead of standing up on my own.  No wonder my shirts are always wet.  I’m trying to suck in my gut and stand up straight.  Here’s another one.  When I am cooking, I have a tendancy to pop a little extra of whatever it is into my mouth before putting it away.  For example, if I’m making a turkey sandwich, after I’ve put the turkey on the bread, I’ll grab a slice and pop it in my mouth before sealing up the package and returning it to the fridge.  Same with nuts and salad fixin’s and other ingredients.  How many added calories do think that accounts for?  No wonder I can’t lose those 10 pounds.  One of my pet peeves is when people say ‘ya know’ a lot.  Didn’t I catch myself ‘ya knowing’ the other day during a phone conversation.  So I started paying attention and sure enough…guilty.  I’ve got to clean that one up fast!   Not that any or all of these makes me a bad person but…they surely are evidence that there’s a lot of room for improvement!  There are so many things I’ve noticed and so many ways I want to change and grow!   The list goes on and on.  And, I think I’ll keep the list alive.  After all, awareness is the first step to change and Pandora is already out of the box!