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Stop Shoulding on Yourself

Yesterday, I wrote a post about my struggle to write a blog post despite the fact that I knew I should do it.  After I wrote it, I realized that my resistance to writing was about ‘shoulding’.  I asked myself, ‘Who says I should?’ ’Do I think I should?’  ‘Why should I?’  And I came up with the fact that I’ve been told by blogging experts that I should, because I need to have a regular presence in the blogosphere.  I think I should because, well, THEY say so and I have this voice in my head that says, ‘If I were really serious about building my business and serving my clients, then I would write regularly.’ I realized that as long as those were the reasons why I should, I wouldn’t.  But, when I realized what I can gain by doing it, what’s in it for me, I got excited.  The benefit, for me is that, I really like to write and I’d like to get better at it and that once I get started I get on a roll and I have fun writing.  I think that people can relate to my writing and that what I have to say is useful to a lot of people.   So there are a lot of really good reasons to write often.  But, as long as certain conditions are in place (in my mind) it’s a stuggle.

Here are the top 6 things that get in my way and what I can do to overcome them:

 Problem:  I’m highly self-critical and often think my writing isn’t good enough. 

Solution:  Acknowledge my inner critic and invite her to  take a back seat for a while and come back later.  Continue writing until I am finished and then go back and edit.  Remember that my first attempt is only a draft, a starting point to work from, not the final product.

Problem:  I think I should.

Solution:  Determine what the value is for me; how will I benefit? 

Problem:  I don’t know how to get started.

Solution:  Just start.  Look inside at what’s going on, listen to your inner voice or look at an article or website and just start writing about what you find.  Usually, once I get started, it just starts to spill out of me.

Problem:  Self-defeating beliefs

Solution:  Test those beliefs.  Are they true?  Is it true that I have to post every day in order to be good and committed?  No.  I’m  good at what I do and committed to my clients and my business whether I post every day or not.

Problem:  Perfectionism

Solution:  “Perfect is the enemy of progress.”  Determine when good is good enough.

Problem:  I don’t have time.

Solution:  I’ll do what I can in the time I have.  If I don’t finish, I’ll come back to it later.  Often, things don’t take as long as I think they will and I find that the time I have available is, in fact, enough time.

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