Say it’s not so.  At the risk of offending some of my readers (sorry!) I really hate watching people chew gum.  The only thing worse is listening to people chew gum.  Maybe my dislike of the substance comes from my father’s disdain for the stuff when I was growing up and the fact that I was forbidden from chewing it, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m acutely aware that I look like a cow when I chew gum.  I’m all for banning the stuff along with chewing tobacco and steroids.  But, despite my personal opinion, according to an article in yesterday’s Boston Globe, gum may help you think better.  According to research by A. Scholey, et al., people who chewed gum while working on challenging mental tasks showed higher alertness and lower stress than those who weren’t chomping away.  The chewers had lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol than their empty mouthed counterparts.  The authors speculate that jawing on gum may increase bloodflow or metabolism.   I’d still rather see you take a good brisk walk around the block to get your blood flowing or connect with a friend or colleague for inspiration and to decompress.  Don’t take my word for it, ask your dentist.  Gum is bad for your teeth, bad for your image, bad for your personal budget (think how much money you’d save it you gave it up), a nuisance to the janitor in the building that houses the chair underwhich your affix the sticky lump when the flavors run out and you’ve had enough of it.  There are better ways of getting inspired and de-stressed.  I’m guessing that, if chewing gum brings the aforementioned benefits, so might eating an apple or some other healthy food.  Still chewing?   Good thing my web cam’s not turned on!

That’s what’s going on in my head.  How about yours?  That’s the sound of self talk. And, today, mine isn’t pretty.  It’s making lot of noise without providing much substance.  And, what substance there is is pretty irrelevant and self-defeating.  So, I’m going to have a chat with my self-talk.  I’m going to tell it just what I think of its negative, fear based, energy sucking messages.  I’m going counter it point by point and send it packing.  Here goes.  (It’s kind of a private and personal conversation, so, excuse me for a moment.  I’ll come back when I’m done.)

Phew!  That felt good!  I put her in her place!  I thanked her for her concern and then invited her to get the heck out of my way so I could get back to work.  I corrected all of her unfounded judgments and set her straight about my confidence, my ability to provide value, my successes and my self worth.  I really told her where to get off!  And, while I know she’ll creep back in from time to time, she’s out of my way for now and I can get on with my productive, generous fulfilling life. 

In order to have power over your negative inner voice, notice when it is speaking to you.  Give it a name if you like. Picture it as a little critter, sitting on your shoulder, screaming in your ear.  Then, just thank it for visiting and invite it to go away.  Like a speck of dandruff, flick it off.  Ping.  Send it flying head over heel into the corner.  Once it’s out of the way, you’ll be able to replace it with your strong inner voice;  the one that sings your praises and tells you you can do whatever you set out to do, inspite of your fears.  The one that is appreciative, curious, generous and productive.  Make it a habit to find that voice and listen to it and over time, your critical voice will be disempowered.

We are creature of habit and routine. When we have a job, we have a built in routine.  We know just when to get up in the morning, how much time we have to get ready, when we need to leave to get to work at a specific time, when we can get to the gym, when to go to bed and what to do pretty much every minute in between.  Without a job to go to, that routine no longer exists.  Perhaps, when you first lost your job, you thought you’d take the opportunity to catch up on some projects around that house that you hadn’t had a chance to tackle.  Or, you thought you’d get some reading done.  But, now that you have all the time in the world, you don’t seem to know how to best use it.  You know the saying, ‘If you want something done, ask a busy person.”  Sometimes, the more we have to do, the more efficient we are.  Or, maybe you think you should be spending 40 hours a week working on your job search and you find yourself sitting by the phone or computer waiting for responses to the inquiries you have sent out.  Whatever your situation, I suspect your feeling a little like a fish out of water, not sure just how to make the best use of your time.

Here are some tips that might help:

1. Establish a routine:  Get up and dressed at the same time every day, just as you did to go to work.
2. Deal with your emotions.  Accept and resolve them.  You are not your feelings.  People want to see you as positive/can do/eager not depressed, angry, tired.
3. Make a list of  all the things you need and want to do.  Include non job search related activities as well as those pertaining to your search.
4. Create a schedule for yourself.  Include job search activities and personal activities.  Honor the schedule.   Consider your unique energy patterns:  do high energy tasks when you are high energy, etc.
5. Apportion your time relative to the value of the task.  (Most people get jobs through networking…spend more time on networking activities than other methods)
6. Manage interruptions. Set boundaries with your spouse, kids, friends, etc.  Now that you’re home, everyone thinks you’re available.  Clarify with others when you need to be left alone and when you will be available. 
7. Create efficient space for job search activities: A quiet corner of a room, a desk, files, phone.
8. Keep files organized so that you can locate information easily and you aren’t stressed by clutter.
9. Avoid multitasking.  Work on one thing until you’re done before going on to the next.  Don’t allow things like checking email or a visit to the refrigerator to distract you from what you are supposed to be doing.
10. Time on task can be scheduled according to amount of time spent or completion of a task.  For example: I’m going to spend one hour researching companies on the internet or, I’m going to research these 5 companies on the internet, no matter how long it takes; or I’m going to work on my resume for 1 hour or I’m going to work on my resume until I’ve completed a solid first draft. Either way is fine.  Just define it.
11. Keep an ongoing follow up list.  Tasks that still need to be completed.  People you need to contact.  Next steps.  Check things off as you complete them.
12. Replenish your energy.  At work, you got satisfaction from the completion of tasks, interactions with others, etc. Create ways to get positive energy and feedback. 
13. Take good care of yourself.  Exercise, eat healthy foods, socialize, get plenty of rest.  It’s important that you take time for yourself.  A job search is a demanding undertaking.
14. Job search requires many, many micro steps.  Give yourself credit for all of them, not just job interviews. 

In other words, use the same time management habits that helped you be effective in your job in your current task to find opportunities for the next phase of your life.

In an article in last Sunday’s Parade Magazine, Dr. Mark Liponis offered 7 Habits for longer life.  He began the article by saying that a woman in France lived to be 122 and that the oldest living person in the US is believed to be 114.  Yikes!  That’s more than twice my age!  It got me thinking about whether living that long is a good thing?  Sometimes I wonder whether all of the technology and medical breakthroughs we’ve made in order to prolong life is creating more problems than it is solving.  I don’t mean to sound harsh, I’m certainly not in favor of sending anyone over a certain age out to the woodshed, not at all.  But when we are sustaining the lives of people who have no quality of life at a very high financial and emotional cost, what is the value?  How can we support the infrastructure required merely to keep these people on this side?  And, whose to say, letting them go to the other side isn’t a gift?  Just some thoughts.  I surely don’t profess to know the answers. 

At the same time, I think we often miss out on the wealth of wisdom that is available to us from our elders.  I know that I often feel too rushed to sit and listen to the stories of my older relatives and to sort out the time tested nuggets of information and experience that still apply in today’s world.  I’d like to see more multi-generational education programs, in the schools and outside, that set up a structure for young and old to co-mingle and share stories.  That would be a great way to keep the wisdom of the ages alive and to brighten a senior’s day and life.

Well, enough of my musings.  Here are Dr. Liponis’ 7 Habits for Longer Life.  May your days and years be long, healthy and enriching, however many of them you have!

1. Get enough rest
2. Eat right
3. Make friends
4. Exercise your mind and body
5. Maintain a healthy weight and trim waistline
6. Get FRESH air
7. Be grateful if you are blessed with good genes (I modified this one!)

It used to be that when you were trying to ‘learn the ropes’, you’d look to someone who had had experience doing what you were trying to learn.  Not so much any more.  Today’s best role models are people whose way of being you admire.  How one is in this environment makes the difference in how well he/she rides the tide.  We’re all pioneers forging our way in a world in which no one has had prior experience.  What one did that worked last year or even last month may not work today.  The things that helped people be successful up to now, may or may not be what’s required for tomorrow.  It’s a whole new world and the one constant success factor is our ability to deal with change.  We can try to ignore it, we can resist it or we can make the best of what we can control.  Follow masters who have been successful leaders in changing times.  Your ability to flourish may be more dependant on how you be than what you do.

1.  Be open

2.  Be patient

3.  Be flexible

4.  Be forgiving of yourself and others

5.  Be gentle

6.  Be optimistic

7.  Be proactive

8.  Be authentically you