The greatest killer of learning and growing is ‘already knowing’.  Look, we’re smart, we’ve lived long enough to have gotten some experience under our (ever expanding) belts and we’ve got the wrinkles and gray hairs to prove it.  So why is it that with all of that, we’re still trying to prove something to the world?  Still having to put on airs that we’re so smart, that we already know?   I’ve found that the best way to shut down conversation and thus a relationship is to already know.  This is especially true with my kids. For example, when my son tells me something, instead of telling him, I already know, if I put my knowledge aside for a moment, I can be open to hearing what he knows.  If I listen to him, I increase my chances that he’ll listen to me.  If I value his point of view as, just that, his perspective, I come to appreciate that what I know is really only my interpretation and perhaps not the Truth with a capital T.  Even if I disagree, by listening, I’ve gained knowledge of my son, perhaps the thoughts of 16 year old boys in his circle of friends, or throughout town and beyond.  It’s helpful information.  I’ve also modeled for him the habit of listening and considering another’s perspective.  I’ve opened a door to future conversation.  The best way to grow is to enter in to any conversation as if it is the first time you’ve ever discussed the topic.  Be open and curious.  That’s where the real growth begins.