You’re tired.  It seems all you’ve done all day is respond to requests, put out fires, and defend the ineptitude of others. The to do list you created this morning looks pretty much the same as it did at 8:00 AM. You’ve been so busy, you haven’t even had time to go to the bathroom yet you feel as if you’ve accomplished nothing.  Your well is dry. As you drive home from work, you have an image of quiet solitude.  You crave the peace and privacy of your very own home.  You begin to unwind, anticipating the relaxing evening that is just inside your front door.   And then, as soon as you turn the doorknob, your dream is shattered.  The kids are wrestling, they need help with their homework, they are feigning starvation; the house is in a state of disarray, the breakfast dishes are still in the sink and you remember that your significant other is away on a business trip.  You lose it.  Before you know it, you are yelling at the kids, kicking the dog and reaching for the bottle of wine (or whiskey).  Your children tell you that their day was better before you walked into it, and you are feeling badly, realizing they are probably right. 

So, what can you do to avoid such a situation? 

1.      Manage your time at work so that you get important things done and gain a sense of accomplishment.

2.      Plan and prepare dinners in advance so that you aren’t faced with that task the minute you walk in the door.

3.      As you are driving home, recognize your stress.  Acknowledge how you’re feeling and the causes of the feelings.

4.      Change your expectations.  Stress is often a result of reality being inconsistent with expectations.  Expect a little craziness when you walk through the door.  Then you won’t be surprised or disappointed when that’s what you get! 

5.      Change your conversation with yourself.  Instead of telling yourself your kids should be quiet and respectful of your feelings, tell yourself that they are kids, they have spent the better part of their day holding it together in school and now they need to act like kids and make a little noise, have a little fun and make a mess.  They are doing their job and they are darn good at it!

6.      Create a re-entry plan and stick to it.  Make a conscious choice about how you are going to deal with the chaos you walk in on.

Option A: Ignore it, go to a peaceful place and just sit and relax for a few minutes or   meditate. 

Option B:  Get radical and jump right into the fray.  Join in the fun.  There’s time for clean up later!

Option C:  What ideas do you have?

Life is short!  Live it without regrets!!