In my last post, I shared part of my experience walking a labyrinth.  There’s more.  As I continued my journey, at a slow, steady pace, another thought popped into my head.  I heard the message, loud and clear:  The world doesn’t need more information.  This, after having been struggling for a while to write articles, speeches and even blog posts.  So, had I been barking up the wrong tree?  Had I been grasping to share some important, relevant, world changing nugget of information when that isn’t what my readers need and want anyway?  And, if not that, what do we need and want more of?

What we need is the courage and inspiration to use what we’ve already got.

Here are some interesting facts:

• According to the 2008 Marketdata Enterprises  market report,   Americans spent over $ 1 billion on self help books and audio books in 2007
• Amazon has 104,596 self-help books listed on their site.

Is there really that much different information out there?  Oh sure, there are different takes on the same information.   It’s true that something said a particular way by a particular person, read at a particular time resonates in  a different and more powerful way.   I am, in fact,  a huge fan of self-help books.  I think some of them provide great information and inspiration, ideas and the basis for thought and conversation.  But they don’t get us into action.  And,  inspiration without action, leads to greater disappointment.

Let’s take the diet book industry as an example.  Amazon lists almost 3,000 diet books.  Can there possibly be that many unique ideas about shaking those extra lbs?  Here’s what we all already know… in order to lose weight, we need to burn more calories than we take in.  And we know, or could easily learn from a couple of bullet-ed lists, what foods have what number of calories and what activities burn what range of calories.  Easy.   Done.  Thin.  Right?  So, why do we continue to search?  to spend?  to fail?

Because doing isn’t about knowing!

This concept of looking for the perfect solution and thinking it will be in the next book you read reminds me of a joke:

There was a man named Jim, who lived near a river. Jim was a very religious man.

One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and tells Jim to get in the boat with him. Jim says “No, that’s ok. God will take care of me.” So, the man in the boat drives off.

The water continues to rise, so Jim climbs onto his roof.  Another boat comes along and the person in that one tells Jim to get in. Jim replies, “No, that’s ok. God will take care of me.” The person in the boat leaves.

The water rises even more, and Jim climbs on his chimney. Then a helicopter comes and lowers a ladder. The woman in the helicopter tells Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. Jim tells her “That’s ok.” The woman says “Are you sure?” Jim says, “Yeah, I’m sure . God will take care of me.

Finally, the water rises too high and Jim drowns. Jim gets up to Heaven and is face-to-face with God. Jim says to God “You told me you would take care of me!
What happened?”

God replied “Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?”

So what are we waiting for?  What is it that will make the difference between knowledge and successful action?  What is it that will help us blast through the barriers that keep us stuck and experience real and sustained change?

To be moved to action, we need to identify and overcome our fears and conflicting commitments.  We need to understand, examine and right-size what is keeping us stuck before we can effectively move forward.  And, we need to be supported, cheered on and held accountable along the way.  These things do not come from books.  When we read books, we are in our own head, with our own stories, our own self-defeating self-talk, our own perception of how things are.

What we need is support, accountability, increased confidence.   And, yes, books can help.  But your real strength is going to come from your heart, not your head.  It’s going to come from your connection to others, your ability to” face your fear and do it anyway.”

So, reach out, connect with others who are traveling  on similar personal growth journeys.  Put your fears and concerns out on the table and wrestle them to the ground.  Inspire others and be inspired.

You already have everything you need to make the change you want to make.  Now use it!

You gotta make the morning last.  Just kickin’ down the cobble stones, looking for fun and feeling groovy…  so go the lyrics to The 59th Street Bridge Song by Simon and Garfunkel.

I was reminded of this song the other day as I was walking the labyrinth at a beautiful retreat center nearby.  I’d never walked a labyrinth before.   The guide sheet I was reading before I entered suggested that I walk with some intention… that I either pray or ask for the answer to a question.  So, as I stood at the entrance, the question that appeared for me was merely this,  “What do I need to know?”   Now, my intellectual side says, “that’s not a very good question.  What do you need to know about what?  In order to do what?”  But my spiritual side responded,  “That’s the perfect question.  Let’s just see what unfolds.”  (only now as I write this does it occur to me that the 2 sides of me didn’t fight or resist each other… there was no judgement, no should, merely my observation that both parts of me were present.)

And so, I began my walk through the maze, appreciating the beautiful sunshine, feeling its warmth, noticing the vibrancy of the new green grass, the result of the recent rain we’ve had, and the bright pink buds on the fruit trees around the property.  My mind was still, void of thought and worry.  And then I heard a voice inside my head saying, ‘you need to slow down and feel the love around you.’

I could feel a smile spread across my face and an ease settle into my chest.  Earlier in the day I had been cranky about the fact that I was feeling unappreciated and a bit lonely.  That message made me think immediately of all of the ways a number of people had shown me love and appreciation but at the time, I’d been too busy, moving too fast to notice.

As we clamor to do things, whine and complain about what others should be doing, notice what’s wrong and what’s missing, we miss the very thing we need to move forward.

We can clear our path to change, merely by shifting our focus, altering our mindset and slowing our pace.

Pave the road to change by trying something different. ( I had never walked a labyrinth before.)  Do something that appears to have nothing to do with the change you are trying to make and see what shows up!

Just like the partnership of mind and spirit, there is a coupling of intention and allowing that carries you down the road of change.

Enjoy the journey!

Everybody’s using superlatives to describe what they’re doing.  So much so that the FTC has changed the rules about what internet marketers can use on their sites in terms of testimonials. We all stand around at cocktail parties and on the sidelines of our kids’ sports games and, with a cheshire cat grin, share about how amazingly well we are doing. Cars are super equipped, meals are super-sized, TV screens are the size of road side billboards, internet access is omnipresent.  So, it’s no wonder that those of us who are living quiet, fulfilling, ordinary looking lives feel a bit small and unspectacular. But there is nothing unspectacular about raising a family, managing a household, striving and for the most part succeeding at being a good citizen.  We should take significant pride in staying grounded, teaching our children strong morals, being appreciative of what we have and of the wonderful people we have attracted into our lives. We should celebrate our ability to stay centered and create great lives with both feet solidly planted on the ground.

And remember, when you are feeling inadequate, all that glitters isn’t gold.  Those people who are looking so cool, calm and collected on the outside, are likely dealing with the same inner gremlins you are.  Stop judging your insides by other people’s outsides.  Live YOUR best life.  Whatever it is, it’s extraordinary!

In my last post, I said that fear comes from the head and can stop us short.   In this post, I want to lower the elevator and talk about passion as a driver.  Passion comes from your heart.

Consider for a moment the feeling you have when you are in love or when you are doing something you are passionate about.  You are totally coming from your heart, doing what’s natural, no holds barred, playing full out.  You are free, energized, unstoppable.

Often, you can’t even explain why.  You often can’t put the cause of your feelings into words.  And, because it’s a good feeling, you don’t feel the need to understand its source.  But identifying the cause of positive emotions is as important as naming the cause of fear because it allows you to recreate those positive feelings and get you back into your heart when the negative,  head initiated, limiting feelings take over.

Your passion for learning new things, helping others, feeling strong and healthy, teaching, leading, connecting, whatever is true for you can help you choose to get back to your heart when you feel stuck in your head.  All of these passions, support your life purpose and energize you.

Use your passion to grow.  Listen to your heart,  pay attention to its yearnings, trust your instincts, observe yourself, can change your thinking and shrink your fear.

Fear is a wall.  You can stand behind it and hide or you can climb up on it, stand on top of it and use it as a platform from which to soar.

You can hit up against it over and over and feel ongoing pain or you can blast through, feeling temporary  discomfort followed by unbridled freedom.

You can  fall victim to your fear or you can use it to learn valuable lessons,  make adjustments  and catapult yourself forward.

You can see is as a source of constraint or as a motivator.

While fear is a feeling,  it comes from our heads not our hearts.   Fear is initiated by a thought,  sometimes a fleeting one, that sets off a series of physiological changes in the body.  Thoughts like,  ‘I’m going to fail’,  ‘I’m going to look foolish’,  ‘people won’t respect me’,  ‘I won’t be able to make enough money’, cause you to feel a sense of danger, a threat to your identity or your well-being.  These thoughts then, cause the release of cortisol in your body, the tightening of your muscles, quickening your heart rate, dilation of your pupils, shortage of oxygen to your brain,  increased blood flow to your outer extremities  giving you the physical sensation of fear.

Fear comes from your head.  So, minimizing it from your head, makes sense.  Identify the cause of the fear.  Challenge the thoughts.  Ask yourself,  ‘Is this true?’  ‘Do I really know this is true?’  ‘If I assume this isn’t true, what might I do?’  ‘What’s really the worst thing that might happen if this doesn’t work out?’

Using logic to counter sometimes illogical thoughts can help you right size your fear and keep moving forward.