One of my favorite TV shows this season is Parenthood which airs on Tuesday nights on NBC.   Parenthood is a dramatic depiction of the lives of 4 adult siblings, living near their parents while raising their own families.  A few weeks ago,  Adam, the oldest brother and go-to guy for the entire family, feels as if he is about to crack and declares, “I don’t have a life. I have a schedule.”  The collective nod of identification from viewers across the country could have caused an earthquake.

Many of us, like Adam,  are  so busy, working in and/or outside our homes,  keeping up with the things we think we have to do, helping the people we feel we have to help, getting to all of the places we are convinced we have to go, lending an ear to all the people we believe we have to listen to, we don’t have time for ourselves.  And the result?  We burn out.  We  become unhealthy, unable to enjoy life and make the contribution we are capable of making.  And though we’re resentful and unhappy but we keep on going, pasting a smile on our face, until, worst case,  we simply collapse.

Why is it so hard to be proactive about your self-care?

There are many reasons.  The first step to taking better care of ourselves is to identify what puts fuel in our tank.  It is different for everyone.  For some, it is 20 minutes of meditation, for others, it’s a week in the wilderness, for still others it’s trip to the mall.  It might be daily exercise, a weekly night out with friends, the list is endless.    Determine what your unique self care needs are and then develop a strategy for building in time for it on a regular basis.

In my next post, I’ll talk more about self-care and transforming a schedule to a life.  Adam, are you reading this?