I had no idea that there were so many words with the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet in it! So what? you might be saying… Well, that button on my computer doesn’t function. When I press it, I get nothing, zero, nada!

So, of course, I could have had a major meltdown or used it as an excuse to just close up shop and not write… but that didn’t even cross my mind… would either of those have been your ‘go to’ reaction?

Instead of throwing in the towel and falling victim to technology, I decided that I would continue to write and just find words that expressed what I wanted to say that didn’t have that letter in it. So…I’m doing pretty well so far… It’s hard because there a lot of very common words containing that letter. So, my writing feels a bit different, maybe odd… I feel the same as I would if I were using my non-dominant hand to write. I have to slow down and give careful consideration to what I am saying. I can’t just let my words flow. I have to be creative, if not elegant. But, I am committed to finding a way around my computer challenge!

So, what’s my point? Why am I writing about this? Because it occurred to me that when things don’t go smoothly or as planned in our lives, we often abandon our efforts. We fall victim to our circumstances. For example, when our intention to exercise is interrupted by some unexpected event, we say, ‘forget it’; or when we fall off of our healthy eating plan for a day, we abandon our effort altogether. In either of these cases, a better approach would be NOT to get emotional about the hiccup, but to go with it… to pose the question, “What could I do differently to be successful?” “What different approach could I use?”

And, there will be many options available to you… I chose to use words that would convey my message without using the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet. I could have created a symbol to represent that letter and explained it in the beginning of my message (* = the letter after ‘J’ in the alphabet) Then, I would say: The * on my computer’s *eyboard isn’t wor*ing so I am using the * every time that letter appears in a word. I don’t *now how it got bro*en. Every other *ey wor*s just fine. I’ll get it fixed soon, but for now, I have to *eep wor*ing.’

Or, I could have copied the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet from an old document and pasted it into this post each time I need to use it. In fact, I did try that for a while but it was really cumbersome so I only use that method to write certain things.

So, when life throws you curveballs, here’s my advice:

1.   Stay calm. Breathe deeply.
2.   Accept it as a challenge rather than a problem. Even turn it into a game. Spare yourself the heart scars!
3.   Consider all of the possible alternatives available to you. Get input from others if you can’t come up with   options yourself.
4.   Try a number of different possible solutions before deciding which will be best for you!
5.   Have fun with it! Have it be a growth experience for you rather than a burden!
6.   Congratulate yourself for your resilience, persistence and success!

P.S. There are at least 14 times in this message that it would have been easier to use the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet. But, I’m pretty sure you got the point!

I was watching Oprah the other day and saw an amazing show.
Oprah has been running a series called ‘The Debt Diet’
for a period of time. Financial experts had advised couples
who are severely in debt and given each a very rigorous
road map to follow in order to pay down their debt and recover
financially. When I saw the first few segments of the show
several months ago, I remember seeing grown men and women
having temper tantrums at the thought of having to give up some
of the things they had been doing that had cost them their
financial health… shopping sprees, expensive hobbies, frivolous
dining out, frequent and unlimited ‘handouts’ to their grown children,
and on and on…When they were first put on their debt diet, they
saw their lives taking a turn for the worse. They simply couldn’t
imagine living without these costly things. They were sure this was
the fast pass to misery.

But today, after some period of time (I don’t know exactly
how long it has been), some of the successful couples are
back on the show and they look physically different. They
look happy and relaxed. Each couple described how they
have not only substantially improved their financial health
but they have turned around strained relationships, discovered
new, cost free interests, spent more time with friends. They
are simply delighted with their results. All aspects of their lives
changed dramatically for the better!

I’ve seen similar things time and again. My clients come to me
to work on one particular change, say find time to take care of
themselves rather than always putting others first or to change
how they react to their boss when they feel stressed or to manage
their time better and, in the process of making that one change, they
experience so many unexpected and delightful benefits. In thinking
about making the change, they anticipate that they will have to give
up too many pleasures or that people will be upset with them if they
change their familiar patterns. They resist making the changes for fear
it will rock the boat. But, those that find the courage and stamina,
experience unexpected results. They discover a passion for something
they didn’t know anything about, they meet some unbelievably great people,
they find a fabulous new job, even though they weren’t looking for one, they
feel more confident and have more intimate conversations with others.
They share stories with a common theme… they had no idea that
making one change in one particular area of their life could have
such a broad and extraordinary impact on their entire lives.

What is the change you want to make and what are you afraid
you’ll have to give up in order to make the change?

You’ll never know the full extent of what you’ll gain if you go through
the process of making the change unless you commit and go for it!