Whether Christmas is the holiday you celebrate at
this time of year of not, this poem’s sentiment is
one that many of us strive for. Enjoy!

Recipe for Christmas All Year Long

Take a heap of child-like wonder
That opens up our eyes
To the unexpected gifts in life—
Each day a sweet surprise.

Mix in fond appreciation
For the people whom we know;
Like festive Christmas candles,
Each one has a special glow.

Add some giggles and some laughter,
A dash of Christmas food,
(Amazing how a piece of pie
Improves our attitude!)

Stir it all with human kindness;
Wrap it up in love and peace,
Decorate with optimism, and
Our joy will never cease.

If we use this healthy recipe,
We know we will remember
To be in the Christmas spirit,
Even when it’s not December.

By Joanna Fuchs

Why are so many people unsuccessful making their New Year’s Resolutions stick?  Since much of our behavior is habitual (done automatically, without conscious thought,) often, we’re already in action doing what we swore we wouldn’t do, before we even realize we’re doing  it.  So, our habits make it really hard to change.  But there’s another reason we don’t change and that is that our current behavior, whether it be overeating, biting our nails, saying ‘like’ between every ‘real’ word in a thought or being ‘cool’ toward our spouse or partner, serves us in some way.  That’s right, even self-defeating behavior has a worthy purpose.  The key is to figure out what that purpose is and to find a new, healthy way to get that need met.  Here’s an example.  Let’s say your New Year’s Resolution is to take better care of yourself.  Of course, the first thing you have to do is to clarify what you would want to start doing, stop doing and/or continue doing that would help you do that.  Then, you need to identify what it is that keeps you from doing those things.  So, for example, one reason a lot of women give for not taking care of themselves is that they have to take care of their family.  Well, sure you do, but that doesn’t mean that you have to do everything for them, all the time, on their schedule.  For many, not putting a good meal on the table every night makes them feel like a bad mother or wife.  So, taking care of everyone else and using that as an excuse for not taking care of yourself serves a purpose.   Of course, you grumble about it and lament about how unfair it is but underneath all of that, your busy-ness taking care of everyone else’s needs makes you to feel as if you are a good and worthy person, a feeling you might not have if you were shirking those duties in favor of your own self-care.   People who are overweight or who bite their nails or who have other unhealthy habits may be doing so because these behaviors help them deal with some negative emotions. They are a coping mechanism. 

So, instead of beating yourself up when you find yourself tempted to revert back to old behaviors, try to understand how those behaviors serve you and find a new way to get those needs met.  Then, you will be successful making your New Year’s Resolutions a reality.

What will you do differently in the coming year?

Here we are with only a couple of weeks left in 2010.  How’d you do on that big audacious resolution you set back in January?  Did you make it?  Did it stick?  Or, like most people, was it a distant image in your rear view mirror by Valentine’s Day?  If you want to have the same kind of success as you had last year (that would be NO success), then stick with the pack and keep doing what you’ve always done.

Here’s how to ensure that you aren’t successful making your New Year’s resolutions stick:

1. Make lots of changes at once.  There’s a lot wrong with how your life is going so why not kill all those birds with one stone.  Vow to do a complete makeover.  What have you got to lose?
2. Be very vague about the changes you want to make… plan to get ‘better’ at something or to get ‘more organized’ or to be ‘more balanced’.  You know, stuff that you can really get your arms around and measure your progress on.
3. Be stoic.  Do it alone.  In fact, you might not even want to tell anyone about your plan to change at all… that way, there’s no one to hold you accountable, no one to know if you are on track or not and heaven knows, no one to offer you helpful advice.  After all,  you know you can count on yourself to push past your resistance or pick yourself up and get back on the horse if you fall off.  What do you need the support of others for?
4. Make sure that everyone else is on board with your resolutions.  You wouldn’t want to rock the boat so maybe you should do a survey before you start to see what other people think you ought to do in order to be a better, happier person.  Then, make sure you do everything THEY think you should do.  What you think really doesn’t matter.  It’ll be a piece of cake meeting everyone else’s expectations.  You’ve probably had a lot of practice doing the ‘shoulds’.
5. Try to eat the whole elephant in one bite.  Who needs baby steps?  That feeling of overwhelm you get from looking at the whole project at once will go away after a couple of pieces of chocolate cake (oops! weren’t you trying to eat healthy?)
6. Obstacles? What obstacles?  You’re thinking, “If I have enough will-power and self-discipline I can conquer anything.”  That brick wall you might run into going 70 miles an hour is going to  hurt.  But don’t take my word for it.  If you don’t anticipate and develop strategies to overcome obstacles, you’ll find out how hard that wall is soon enough!
7. Wait until the very end when you’ve scored a perfect ’10′ to reward yourself.  After all, this resolution business is an all or nothing proposition!  If you aren’t 100% successful, you’re a complete loser.

Let’s get serious.  Changing your behaviors, your way of being, your habits can be challenging.  But, you can do it if you are really committed!  Go ahead, be ambitious but be realistic.  Set yourself up to succeed and learn along the way.  There are no bad efforts except making to attempt at all.