You can’t consciously change what you can’t describe. So many people tell me they want to improve their relationships, be healthier, get organized. But what does that really mean? Some people can easily answer that question. “I want to spend at least one night a week doing something with my husband, just the two of us. I want to walk 2 miles a day, 3 days a week, I want to make the beds and wash the dishes in the sink before I leave the house in the morning. When you have that clarity, it is easy to create specific action steps to move toward them. You pick dates for your time with you hubby and write them in your calendar. You make a list of the things you’d like the two of you to do together and work your way through the list, doing one thing each week. You decide when during the day is best for you to walk. You determine which days you’ll walk. You mark the day and time in your calendar, as an appointment with yourself and you honor it, just as you would honor a meeting with someone else. In fact, it’s best if you find a buddy to walk with or to check in with so you keep your commitment.

When your goal is clear, it is much easier to design an action plan that will help you reach it. What’s the specific change you want to make? What concrete actions will you take to make the change? When will you take those actions?

Not sure yet what specific change you’d like to make to in order to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled? Come back in a few days. I’ll address that in my next post.

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

And I don’t mean day old bread!

That was the headline on an email I got from a local restaurant promoting April as wine month at their establishment.

It caught my eye because I know that sometimes, when we are feeling down, defeated, discouraged, in a funk, we have trouble thinking of anything to cheer about.  But, finding just one thing to be grateful for, to appreciate or be proud of, in the moment, can be enough to give us the energy to climb out of the hole we are stuck in and take effective action.  So, the next time you are feeling stuck and a little down about it, quick, think of something worth toasting and find a healthy way to honor that thought!  You’ll be amazed at how uplifting it will be.

Fact:  You can’t be glad and sad at the same time.  Your hormones won’t let you be. So, to get out of sad, think glad!