In my last post, I talked about the need for clarity in order to consciously choose the actions that will help you reach your goals. Sometimes, though you know it’s time for a change and you aren’t clear exactly what to do to change the situation. You just know that how things are going isn’t what you want. I personally know it’s time for me to make some kind of change when I get tired of listening to myself whine and complain. I literally get to the point where I say to myself, “Shut up and do something about it!” Then I have to give some hard thought to what I’d need to do to get the result I want. Last week, for example, I noticed that I was feeling stressed and angry. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I knew I had to figure out what to do differently to feel more calm and loving. I visualized how I wanted to feel and noticed what I was doing and how I was being that made me feel calm, relaxed, open and happy. As I pictured this, I got clear about what I needed to do. I needed to ask for help. I had been doing everything around the house for my family. I’d been helping others and my own needs had been left by the wayside resulting in my feeling resentful and burnt out. That sorted out, I could answer the next question, What do I need to do in order to get to that ‘happy’ place? The answer was simple. I needed to make specific requests of the people around me. And, I needed to set some boundaries. First, I needed to feel like I was in partnership with my husband. I needed to tell him how I was feeling and make specific requests of him to do certain things. I needed to require my kids to do some chores around the house. I needed to decline an invitation to an event I really didn’t want to go to. I needed to be willing to be a little uncomfortable doing all of this because, being more than a bit conflict averse, I tend to avoid situations where there might be push-back. I needed to be willing to have others be angry, disappointed, or resistant because I needed to put myself first.

So if you notice yourself not being at the top of your game and ready to change that, imagine what it would look and feel like if you were at your best. Then, create an action plan to clear the path to that place.