That’s what one of my clients said to me last week.  Who among us hasn’t had that thought?  Most of us grew up fueled by a dream of living happily ever after with prince charming and having a life of joy and abundance.  We never imagined the various challenges we would have tossed in our path.  We didn’t expect terrorism, recession, environmental threats, high unemployment, difficult marriages,  poor health or any of the other monkey wrenches we have encountered on the way to old age.  And we are unprepared to deal with the unexpected twists and turns of life.  We hang onto our idealized expectations and feel cheated and wronged that it didn’t turn out as we’d hoped.  Whether it is fair or not, we are where we are.  The best way to stay stuck is to tighten our grip on the perceived injustice of that.  If we want to break out of the place we’re in, we need to change our mindset.

1. Determine what’s really important to you. Sometimes we hang on to old dreams that are no longer relevant.  Reassess what you truly value and want and let go of the shoulds.
2. Focus on what you do have that makes you happy and find ways to get more of those things. What we think about expands, if we focus our attention on the positives, we will see and get more of them.
3. Let go of concerns about what others will think. Don’t let what you think others will think keep you stuck.  You might be surprised to learn that others admire your courage when you take a bold step to change.
4. Reach out to others. You’ll be amazed to find out how many others share you feelings and frustrations.  Instead of commiserating with each other, commit to taking action to change your circumstances and support and hold each other accountable.
5. Consult with experts. Learn effective ways to change your situation.  If you are in debt, talk to a financial professional.  If you have health issues, see a medical or wellness professional, etc.  What you know now is what got you to where you are now.  You need new information and insight in order to move beyond it.  Often the solution isn’t as daunting as you thought it would be.
6. Take action. Stop whining and worrying and begin to do something.  Take one small action every day that will move you closer to your dreams.
7. Be patient. You didn’t get to where you are in your life overnight and you won’t get out of it in a blink either.  Each small step will empower you, give you a sense of control and move you closer to your desired outcome.

So go ahead… Use the wisdom you have amassed over the years,  set new expectations and  live into those new hopes and dreams.  It’s not too late.