I recently read an article in which a palliative care nurse shared the 5 most common regrets expressed by her patients at the end of their lives.  It was sad to read because I know that each and every one of their stories was avoidable, if only they’d paid attention to the voices in their heads earlier, and had the courage to make some different choices in their lives when it mattered.

My hope is that you will read this and make some choices that result in you not having these same regrets in your final days.

1.   I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all.  The patients had lived according to what they thought others wanted or expected of them at the expense of their own deepest desires. As they looked back, they saw that the choices they had made came with the high price of having their dreams unfulfilled.

What dreams do you have that you are pushing aside?  Choose just one, right now, and take some small action toward making it a reality.

2.   I wish I didn’t work so hard.
We feel as if we have to work 50-60 hours a week to get ahead and to provide for our loved ones.  But the result is, we don’t have time to enjoy the fruits of our labor.  We aren’t there to BE with the ones we are so devoted to.

Where can you renegotiate and set boundaries so that you have more time and energy to spend with people close to you?  What tasks can you delegate?  Where can you give up control and accept good enough instead of insisting on perfection?  What trade-offs can you make in order to be truly fulfilled instead of constantly being on the hamster wheel of life?

3.   I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people never voiced their true feelings either positive or negative. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many became physically ill because of the negative energy they harbored throughout their lives.  Others never dared to express their love for others because it was uncomfortable or they feared the reaction it might invoke.

We cannot control the reactions of others but it is important to be true to ourselves and express that truth.  Often, once those difficult messages are communicated, a platform is set up to resolve differences and the relationship becomes richer and deeper, or in other situations, open honest communication causes unhealthy relationships to end, freeing you to pursue more fulfilling opportunities.

What communication have you withheld and why?  Look into your heart and make a commitment to resolve unfinished business, express your true feelings, state your honest opinion, regardless of your discomfort about how it might turn out.

4.   I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they did not truly realize the value of old friends until their dying weeks.  Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

Given our busy lifestyles, it is easy to let friendships slip through the cracks. Who have you lost touch with that you’d like to reconnect with?  Reach out.  Send them a letter, an email, call them on the phone.  Rebuild the bond while you can.

5.      I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. They lived within the confines of their comfort zone, being cautious, ‘looking good’ and playing it safe.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh fully, experience adventure, take some risks.

Life is a series of choices.  It is YOUR life. Choose consciously. Choose authentically. Choose happiness.