How many times have you heard this in answer to your question, “How do I…”  It doesn’t matter what you are trying to do… look younger—it’s easy.  All you have to do is use this cream every day for the next 3 months;  make a million dollars—it’s easy.  All you have to do is have an idea, create some content about it–write a book or ebook, develop a webinar, speak about it, offer seminars on the subject, sell the products on the web and count your money when you wake up in the morning.  Or maybe you want to be happier – easy.  All you have to do is notice the positive things in your life and express gratitude for them and bingo… life is good.

Well, if it were REALLY that easy, if you could have health, wealth, happiness and fulfillment by just doing a few things differently, why isn’t the planet overrun with wealthy, joyful, richly related, fit, satisfied people?

Because while the mechanics of life are simple, and any of us can learn them, our inner world isn’t so clear cut.  Feelings and emotions are messy.  The scripts we’ve developed, the beliefs we hold dear, the assumptions we make, the fears we harbor come into play and get in the way of our ‘just doing…” They make what others say is easy, really, really hard.  In fact, it is our internal processes that create our most challenging roadblocks.

In order to be successful, we need to understand our values, our feelings and our fears and make some shifts from the inside out.

When you find yourself stuck, unable to ‘just do…”  ask yourself, “What is in the way of my doing this?”  Listen carefully to the voice in your head or the movie that is playing there.  Do you hear someone saying, “who do you think you are thinking you can do this?”  Or do you see a loved one criticizing or disapproving?”  Do you jump to an internal dialog that sounds something like, “What if this doesn’t work out?”

Pay attention to how your body feels.  When you first think about moving toward your idea or dream do you feel excited, only to have that followed by a different sensation, perhaps one of fear or overwhelm?  Can you feel heaviness in your body or a lump in your throat?

Your thoughts and feelings have real power over you.  In order to keep moving forward toward your goals, you have to pay attention to your whole body in order to know how to re-empower your deflated sense of excitement.

You have to reprogram yourself to catch yourself when your inner voice and inner movie projector throw up road blocks.

The first step is awareness.  Get to know your body’s signals.  What messages are you sending yourself?  What do they mean?  What is going on in your mind and your body that is causing you to be stopped?  Where do these messages come from?  How can you counter them?

Disempower your negative thoughts. If you notice that you are having negative thoughts like, “I can’t”, “it won’t work out”, “I shouldn’t…”, ask yourself,  “Is this true?”  By true I don’t mean is it possible that it might happen.  I mean, is this absolutely, irrefutably true?  If it is not true, ask yourself, “What is the truth in this situation?” If it is true, ask yourself, “So what?  What is the worst thing that could happen if that outcome occurred?” Let’s say you can hear your best friend’s voice saying, “Remember the last time you did…? It was a complete disaster.  What makes you think this will be any different?”  You automatically start thinking, “She’s right.  I could never do this.”  Is it true that you failed before?  Maybe it is.  Is it absolutely true that you will fail again?  No.  And even if you do fail again, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  You are guaranteed not to succeed if you don’t try.  Would you rather go down swinging or on a called strike?  And, finally, consider what you can do to minimize your risk.

Acknowledge, understand  and work through your feelings. For many people, feelings get in the way of showcasing their true greatness.  The feelings may show up as embarrassment, overwhelm, feeling stupid.  Underneath those feelings is fear.  Fear of losing face, fear of failure, fear of asking for help and looking stupid, fear of upsetting others or the status quo.  When we dig deep to discover the basis of our feelings, we can pinpoint what we need to do to move through them.  Feelings should not be ignored. They convey important information and it is important to understand them, heed their messages and learn from them.  One of my clients was really excited about a possible new job opportunity.  She loved everything about it except that it would require that she be out at events several evenings a month.  This didn’t bother her but she was afraid it would upset her husband and put her marriage at risk.  That thought was so scary to her, she decided not to pursue the opportunity.  When I asked her if she had asked her husband about it, she said, “no”.  She just assumed it would be a problem, feared the impact and acted on that fear.  Identifying the fear and understanding it’s source, gave her the direction she needed to take some effective action.  She spoke to her husband about it and learned that while it wouldn’t be his first choice to have her out a lot, he was excited about this opportunity for her and would be willing to make it work.

It may not be as easy as 1-2-3, but you can overcome your fears and allow your true greatness to shine!