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Successful change emanates from the heart, not the head. In order to be successful, to stay motivated we need to let go of ego and embrace possibility.
Ego is engaged when we have to be right, need to look good, are afraid to fail.
When we are in the realm of possibility, we are open, curious, calm.
I had a client, Donna, who wanted to lose 10 pounds… you know, that last 10 pounds you want to lose for years? I asked her what she had tried before and she gave me a list of diet programs she had tried to follow. She said they didn’t work because she felt deprived, had to think really hard about what foods to eat and what not to and, in the end, when she wasn’t successful, she beat herself up, told herself she was bad and wrong… and, or course, ate to sooth her feelings. In a word, Donna stayed stuck.
I suggested that she forget about the weight loss goal for a moment and to just imagine what was possible for her if she was at her goal weight… forget how you might do it or whether you should or shouldn’t… just feel what opportunity is available to you if you are at your idea of an ideal weight. She lit up, she was inspired. She saw herself feeling light and energetic and active and strong. She saw herself feeling fit and positive… She was inspired by the possibility of being that fit, energetic person. With that inspiration and vision in mind, we set out to create a plan for her to lose the 10 pounds… driven from the heart, not the ego.
I had another client, Jane who wanted to get back into an exercise routine but couldn’t find the time and get into the habit. Again, I asked her to think about what was possible for her if she were exercising? She created a compelling vision of herself strong and fit and energetic. With that as a backdrop… we began to work on the how. Along the way, each time she found herself resisting going to the gym or working out, I asked her to notice what was running the show… her head full of ‘shoulds’ and reasons why not, or possibility, overflowing with energy and inspiration? So, I suggested that she NOT check in with her head on the matter of whether she was going to go to the gym and just make a conscious choice to check in with her source of inspiration, her heart. Her first response when I suggested that was, “oh, that will never work for me,” a comment coming from the head, by the way. So, I pressed on and asked, are you willing to consider the possibility that it might work? She agreed and sure enough, she found herself getting exercise regularly, enjoying it and miraculously, other things got done too.
The show stoppers tend to be things coming from your head. When you go back to your heart, you get moving.
As Peter Drucker said, “The Best Way to Predict the Future is to Create it.” And, the best way to create it is to imagine and be open to all of the possibilities, rather than drawing on all of the history, memories, fears.