Yes, you read it right.  I want you to BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE.   Love yourself, honor yourself, show compassion for yourself, shower yourself with loving messages, gifts and indulgences that make you feel taken care of.

It’s nice to have others express their love and appreciation for us but sometimes, we are so down on ourselves, so full of self-doubt that we can’t let the love of others in.  We feel unworthy of love and so, when it is shown to us, we don’t trust it, can’t accept it and inadvertently push it away.

What happens when we shun affection from others?  They stop demonstrating it.  And, when they stop, we feel disappointed and make them wrong.  We don’t realize the we might have been the cause of the withdrawal.

So, if you want love to come your way, start by loving yourself and expressing love.  Open the vessel for love to pour in!

In the words of Mahatma Gandhi:  “BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”

Happy Valentine’s Day

The Patriots lost a heartbreaker on Sunday night.  Superbowl aspirations were dashed,  and emotions ran high.  And, in the aftermath, Gisele backhandedly lashed out against her beloved Tom’s, team-mates, saying, ‘he can’t throw the [@#%#@] ball and catch the ball all at the same time.”  She went on to share her disappointment about how many times the receivers dropped the ball.  Didn’t we all say that?  “Yes, but not to the press”, you say.  But if the press were in our face, would we not have?

Does the fact that she said it make her a bad person?  Of course not.  It makes her human.  Have you ever been emotionally highjacked and found something coming out of your mouth that you didn’t intend to say or even mean?  That you were sorry for as soon as you heard yourself say it? Sure you have, we all have.  It’s a stress response.

We are a balance of logic and emotion.  We need both to navigate the world.  When we are being overly logical, we sometimes neglect to take into account the personal impact of our actions.  When we are highly emotional, it is impossible for us to think rationally.  Both aspects are critical to self control, good decision making and relationship building.

To avoid the repercussions of such accidental outbursts, it is best not to respond to situations when you are feeling highly emotional but to step away for at least a few moments, take a deep breath and get yourself back on an even keel.

Begin to pay attention to the physical cues in your body that are signals that your emotions are taking over.  Take a break from the conversation or a breath and CHOOSE your response thoughtfully and carefully.

We often look at highly successful  people and think they are full of self-confidence.  We compare how they appear on the outside with how we sometimes feel on the inside… insecure, incompetent, inadequate and, it makes us feel worse.  We think, ‘I’ll never be as good as, as successful as, as competent as…”  But even the most confident and successful among us feel self-doubt. Even New England Patriots star quarterback, Tom Brady needs a little help from his friends before a big game.  And his beautiful wife, Gisele, captain of his personal support squad, reaches out and asks for it.

The Boston Globe shared this in this morning’s edition of the paper:

The New York Post got its hands on an e-mail meant for Gisele Bundchen’s inner circle that asks friends of the Tom Brady-Bundchen pack to pray for the Pats. According to the story by the Post’s Todd Venezia, the e-mail says, “My sweet friends and family, this Sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life. He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this Super Bowl. So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this Sunday. Thank you for your love and support. Love, G ’’

When you are feeling a bit shaky, do you reach out and ask for help?  Do you envision yourself being successful, happy and fulfilled and ask for others to hold that vision for you?

I hope Eli Manning’s envisioners are not as powerful as Brady’s!

Go Pats!