I had no idea that there were so many words with the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet in it! So what? you might be saying… Well, that button on my computer doesn’t function. When I press it, I get nothing, zero, nada!

So, of course, I could have had a major meltdown or used it as an excuse to just close up shop and not write… but that didn’t even cross my mind… would either of those have been your ‘go to’ reaction?

Instead of throwing in the towel and falling victim to technology, I decided that I would continue to write and just find words that expressed what I wanted to say that didn’t have that letter in it. So…I’m doing pretty well so far… It’s hard because there a lot of very common words containing that letter. So, my writing feels a bit different, maybe odd… I feel the same as I would if I were using my non-dominant hand to write. I have to slow down and give careful consideration to what I am saying. I can’t just let my words flow. I have to be creative, if not elegant. But, I am committed to finding a way around my computer challenge!

So, what’s my point? Why am I writing about this? Because it occurred to me that when things don’t go smoothly or as planned in our lives, we often abandon our efforts. We fall victim to our circumstances. For example, when our intention to exercise is interrupted by some unexpected event, we say, ‘forget it’; or when we fall off of our healthy eating plan for a day, we abandon our effort altogether. In either of these cases, a better approach would be NOT to get emotional about the hiccup, but to go with it… to pose the question, “What could I do differently to be successful?” “What different approach could I use?”

And, there will be many options available to you… I chose to use words that would convey my message without using the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet. I could have created a symbol to represent that letter and explained it in the beginning of my message (* = the letter after ‘J’ in the alphabet) Then, I would say: The * on my computer’s *eyboard isn’t wor*ing so I am using the * every time that letter appears in a word. I don’t *now how it got bro*en. Every other *ey wor*s just fine. I’ll get it fixed soon, but for now, I have to *eep wor*ing.’

Or, I could have copied the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet from an old document and pasted it into this post each time I need to use it. In fact, I did try that for a while but it was really cumbersome so I only use that method to write certain things.

So, when life throws you curveballs, here’s my advice:

1.   Stay calm. Breathe deeply.
2.   Accept it as a challenge rather than a problem. Even turn it into a game. Spare yourself the heart scars!
3.   Consider all of the possible alternatives available to you. Get input from others if you can’t come up with   options yourself.
4.   Try a number of different possible solutions before deciding which will be best for you!
5.   Have fun with it! Have it be a growth experience for you rather than a burden!
6.   Congratulate yourself for your resilience, persistence and success!

P.S. There are at least 14 times in this message that it would have been easier to use the letter that follows ‘J’ in the alphabet. But, I’m pretty sure you got the point!

I subscribe to a great service called Inspire Me Today .  Each morning, I have an inspiring message in my mailbox from a different luminary, sharing 500 words of brilliance with subscribers.

This morning’s message from poet-philosopher and best selling author Noah benShea was so profound, I had to share it with you.

Noah benShea’s Ten Tips for Tough Times

1. Being broke is not the same as being broken,
losing money is not the same as being lost,
and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

2. Don’t confuse having less with being less,
having more with being more,
or what you have with who you are.

3. Slow down.
What you’re chasing may be trying to catch you.

4. Prayer is a path where there is none.

5. Put your faith and not your fears in charge.

6. God only gave you two arms.
If you’re busy hugging the past you can’t embrace the future.
Don’t let the past kidnap your future.

7. This too shall pass.
Change is the only constant.
In order to take a breath you must release your breath.

8. Do what you can,
but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up.

9. Break the rules that are breaking you.
Tough times don’t require you to be tough on yourself.
Find the courage to suffer happiness.

10. Remember, remember, remember…
Things don’t have to be good for you to be great.

 Thanks to my friend, colleague and fabulous coach Bette Hoffman for this poignant piece of Native American legend.

One evening a Cherokee Elder was teaching his grandson about a battle

that goes on inside people.                     

 He said “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,

self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride  and superiority.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility,

kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion,

and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute. Then he asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee man simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Do you want to change your relationships?  Feel really good about yourself even when things aren’t going just the way you’d like!  Well, have I got an idea for you!

You know all those people in your life who are unpleasant, rude, ungrateful for all you do and just downright difficult to deal with?  I have the cure!  And, it isn’t what you’d expect.  No, I’m not going to suggest that you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with them or that you cut them out of your life altogether.  I’m going to suggest that you take the high road.  Let me give you an example:

Imagine that you are walking down the street in the wealthy section of a city.  It’s a beautiful sunny day and, as you’re walking along admiring the majestic high end real estate, a flower pot falls from a balcony high above your head.  The pot hits you and crashes to the ground.  You’re angry but only a little hurt.  You have a choice to make.  What will you do?

Let’s consider the options: 

1.  It’s a wealthy neighborhood.  The guy from who’s deck the pot fell is probably worth a bundle.  You could sue him and probably win big bucks.  Why not?  You know a good lawyer who’d be happy to take the case.

2.  You could get revenge.  You could gather all the pieces of the pot and the unrooted flower that fell out of it, carry it up to the guys apartment and threaten him.  That would make you feel better, wouldn’t it?

3.  You could walk away and try to forget about it, but you run the risk of carrying your feelings around with you for the rest of your life.

4.  Or, you could do the unthinkable.  You could pick up the pieces of the pot and the broken plant, take it to a nursery, buy a new pot, have the plant repotted and bring it back to the owner.  You could knock on his door and say to him, ‘Your plant fell and I thought you’d like to have it back, repotted.  I hope you like the new pot that I got for you.  Perhaps you should secure it on your deck a little better so it doesn’t fall again.  If you have some wire, I could help you do that right now.

Can you imagine how you’d feel if you did that?  Despite the fact that the pot falling wasn’t your fault, that it could have killed you, that the owner never would have known you were even there.  And imagine how the other person might feel?  How surprised and delighted… imagine how he might turn around and treat others.

One simple change in your behavior could cause a ripple effect of positive feelings and positive actions.  Or, you could take it the other way.  Which would you choose?

Today, I invited my friend and colleague Mari Ryan, CEO of Advancing Wellness to post a guest blog.  She shared a wonderful story and a great lesson for us all!  Here it is:

When I got up at 5:30 this morning I was cranky. I went to bed cranky. I decided the best way to deal with this feeling was to walk it off, so I took my Cairn Terrier Miss Kate for a long walk. As I walked along the main road, a young man on a bicycle came whizzing by. He yelled “Isn’t it a beautiful day?” I thought for a moment and shouted back “It sure is!” As he continued down the road, he put his hands out to the side as if he was flying. With all that joy he was exuding, he was flying. His joy was absolutely contagious. It suddenly made me think – “So what are you so cranky about? Take a lesson from him and be joyful”. As Miss Kate and I continued our walk, I contemplated the young man who challenged me to see the day from a different perspective. I consciously chose to think differently – to appreciate the things I have to be grateful for and to enjoy the beautiful morning that I was experiencing on my walk. When I got home, I tackled a few of the things that had been making me cranky and felt much better. I hope I see that young man on another early morning walk soon.

Mari Ryan is CEO of AdvancingWellness (www.advwellness.com), a worksite wellness company based in the Boston, MA area.