You’ve heard the phrase, ‘everyone is listening to the same radio station:  WIIFM’ (What’s In It For Me)  Well, it’s a great frequency to be tuned in to when making a change.

Change requires effort.  In order to stick with the process and endure the discomfort of doing things differently, there has to be a payoff.  The change has to provide you with some desired and valued outcome or fulfill an unmet need.  Before embarking on a change, get crystal clear about what’s in it for you.  Someone else’s ‘should’ or even you own may not be enough to sustain you. 

Ask yourself, ‘How will I benefit from this change?’  ‘What difference will making the change make in my life?’ ‘Why is that important to me?’  ‘What need does it fulfill for me that is not fulfilled now?’  How will making this change help me move closer to living the purposeful life I want to live?

Don’t worry about the ‘how’ yet.  We’ll get to that.  Many people derail because they move into action before they’ve actually committed to making the change and seeing the real payoff.  Without this foundation, when the going gets tough, they take their marbles and go back to the comfortable place called home.

When my kids were little, they used to love the television show ‘Magic School Bus’.  In each episode, the zany science teacher, Miss Frizzle, led the kids on a wild adventure on the Magic School Bus.  Miss Frizzle was always encouraging her students to explore, consider different perspectives and try new things.  One of my favorite lines from the show was one she used often.  When Miss Frizzle noticed anyone being even a wee bit hesitant, she’d cheerfully shout, “Go ahead, take chances, make mistakes, get messy.”

And that, is what you need to do if you are going to make that big bold change!  You have to be willing to not look perfect, to not do it right the first time, to mess up, maybe even big time.  Cause if you aren’t willing to do that, then you won’t do what it takes to try to do things differently.  It’s very possible that you won’t make mistakes, it won’t get messy, but you have to be willing to let that happen in order to take the plunge you need to take in order to get different results in your life.

So, what are you waiting for?  Hop on the Magic School Bus.  Miss Frizzle is waiting.

We do things in order to get pleasure and/or avoid pain.  It’s that simple.  So, when you are thinking about making a change, get really clear about the payoffs and costs.  What is in it for you to make the change?  What pain are you in now that you would like to alleviate?  What is the cost to you down the road if you do not make the change?

Changing careers is a great example.  Career change is hard.  Our identity, our network, our social structure is based in what we do.  So, considering a career change can be pretty daunting.  But, what is in it for you to change careers?  Maybe you could make more money.  Maybe you’d have more balance in your life.  Maybe you’d be doing work that you love or contributing to a cause that is important to you.  And, what’s the pain you are in now?  Are you bored?  Burnt out?  Disinterested or disillusioned?  Is it a dead end?   And, if you don’t make a change, what is the cost?  If you are working all the time, might you lose you family?  Jeopardize your health?  Be angry and depressed? 

No matter what change you are contemplating, there are payoffs and prices that must be considered.   When you see that the price of not changing is greater than the risk, or that the payoff is worth the price, you’ll be ready to move forward.

Picture an artichoke.  On the outside are the vegetable’s tough outer leaves, all arranged nicely, one overlapping the other in perfect symmetry, forming an attractive flower.    But at the end of each leaf is a sharp little pricker that can hurt you.  So, although it all looks great, there are parts that can cause some pain.  And, as you know, as you peel away the outside leaves of the vegetable, you get to smaller, more tender leaves inside.  These leaves are even sweeter, more delicate than the outside leaves because they’ve been protected.  As you go deeper into the artichoke, toward the center, you encounter the hairy ‘choke’ part that stands between the leaves (appearances) and the heart of the matter.  You have to discard that part before you can enjoy the best part:  the sweet meat of the heart.

That’s what making a change is like.  You’ve got to look at a number of layers, identifying and examining all the elements along the way and clearing out the yucky parts before we can get to the goodies.

Ready to begin your journey to your sweet heart?  Join me for my new 8 week group coaching program, Change Champion:  The Savvy Woman’s Guide to Greater Health, Happiness and Fulfillment.    

Do you want to change your relationships?  Feel really good about yourself even when things aren’t going just the way you’d like!  Well, have I got an idea for you!

You know all those people in your life who are unpleasant, rude, ungrateful for all you do and just downright difficult to deal with?  I have the cure!  And, it isn’t what you’d expect.  No, I’m not going to suggest that you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with them or that you cut them out of your life altogether.  I’m going to suggest that you take the high road.  Let me give you an example:

Imagine that you are walking down the street in the wealthy section of a city.  It’s a beautiful sunny day and, as you’re walking along admiring the majestic high end real estate, a flower pot falls from a balcony high above your head.  The pot hits you and crashes to the ground.  You’re angry but only a little hurt.  You have a choice to make.  What will you do?

Let’s consider the options: 

1.  It’s a wealthy neighborhood.  The guy from who’s deck the pot fell is probably worth a bundle.  You could sue him and probably win big bucks.  Why not?  You know a good lawyer who’d be happy to take the case.

2.  You could get revenge.  You could gather all the pieces of the pot and the unrooted flower that fell out of it, carry it up to the guys apartment and threaten him.  That would make you feel better, wouldn’t it?

3.  You could walk away and try to forget about it, but you run the risk of carrying your feelings around with you for the rest of your life.

4.  Or, you could do the unthinkable.  You could pick up the pieces of the pot and the broken plant, take it to a nursery, buy a new pot, have the plant repotted and bring it back to the owner.  You could knock on his door and say to him, ‘Your plant fell and I thought you’d like to have it back, repotted.  I hope you like the new pot that I got for you.  Perhaps you should secure it on your deck a little better so it doesn’t fall again.  If you have some wire, I could help you do that right now.

Can you imagine how you’d feel if you did that?  Despite the fact that the pot falling wasn’t your fault, that it could have killed you, that the owner never would have known you were even there.  And imagine how the other person might feel?  How surprised and delighted… imagine how he might turn around and treat others.

One simple change in your behavior could cause a ripple effect of positive feelings and positive actions.  Or, you could take it the other way.  Which would you choose?